40+ Times Kids Told The Most Absurdly Funny Lies From The Parents Of Reddit

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Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor
Nov 7, 2023 11:00 AM EST

Ah kids, are they not just bouncing bundles of joy. Well , if you have clicked on to this listicle then you probably know that they are not, most of the time. In fact, they can be overwhelmingly difficult, but it is the little moments of pure innocence that make all the complexity of parenting worth it. And today we are taking a moment to observe and honour these hysterically funny moments, specifically the absurdly funny lies that kids try to tell their parents. Whether it is to get out of doing their homework, or trying to pin the blame on someone else, or in the most extreme of cases making up pet goats.

So instead of getting the kids ready for school, take a moment for yourself to enjoy a hearty chuckle at these absurd reddit comments, and prepare yourself for the onslaught of fibs your kids are about to present you with. Likely something along the lines of the dog eating your kid's trousers and therefore the kid cannot go to school. Good luck… 

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  • 01
    random_char. 6 yr. ago We took my 4 yr old son to Lego Land in California. We were waiting in line for a mechanical pony ride that he was very excited for and could do by himself. The attendant was asking every child their age before they got on the ride. We hadn't thought to talk to him about why. When he got to the front of the line, the attendant asked him his age. He hesitated and looked at us. We reassured him. Then as cool and confident as could be he said "um 18." Everyone within ear shot
    via u/random_char
  • 02
    donderblix 6 yr. ago My mother got called by school for my (much) younger sister when she was 6/7 on the occasion of her having shown up at school with a black eye. Principal: "Mrs. H, I think we have an issue with your daughter's cousin Rebecca..." Mom: "She doesn't have a cousin named Rebecca." Principal: "I'll get back to you." Fifteen minutes later: Principal: "I think we've gotten to the bottom of things. It seems that your son's girlfriend is the issue." Mom: "My son is gay and he's been i
    via u/donderblix
  • 03
    weasel999 6 yr. ago My daughter was 3 and farted loudly, then said "that was a woodpecker." ↑4.8k Share
    via u/weasel999
  • 04
    maddomesticscientist 6 yr. ago My kid was having trouble making it to the bathroom before he pooped his pants. I was always telling him "If you need to go potty, just put down what you're doing and go. Whatever it is can wait" I guess he took that to mean he was in trouble, despite the fact I stressed time and time again that I wasn't upset. So one day he comes streaking into the living room, naked from the waist down, and starts excitedly telling me this long and involved story about how he was
    via u/maddomesticscientist
  • 05
    URKiddingMe 6 yr. ago My godson (around 3 or 4 at the time) came to the porch from the back of the house, his trousers dripping wet. He honestly claimed that while he was playing in the garden, someone came and peed in his pants. 626 Share
    via u/URKiddingMe
  • 06
    bo-barkles 6 yr. ago When my son was 3 he was going through this stage if peeing on thr toy shelf upstairs. He tried blaming it on his brother, then his dad, then me and finally decided it was actually the dog... The dog who has never been upstairs in its life. He thought for sure I'd buy his story. ↑ 232 ↓ Share
    via u/bo-barkles
  • 07
    Endulos 6 yr. ago My mom babysits a cousin... One time, he pissed his pants while watching television, he got up, came into the kitchen and told my Mom that our dog jumped on the bed and peed all over him. Said dog had never been on that bed because it was too tall for him to jump up. ↑ 126 Share
    via u/Endulos
  • 08
    JO -teaqueen- · 6 yr. ago I'm a preschool teacher. One of our three year olds who is verrry smart told me "today's my last day as a kid... I start college on Saturday" and let out a huge sigh. 1.8k Share
    via u/-teaqueen-
  • 09
    deadlychambers · 6 yr. ago I wrote on the wall when i was very little. My dad asked me if I did it. I responded "No, Todd did it" (there is no Todd) he says "oh" walks out of the room, comes back 5 minutes later and tells me "I just got off the phone with Todd's mom, Todd said you did it. "....checkmate. ↑ 6.0k ↓ Share
    via u/deadlychambers
  • 10
    gingerfer 6 yr. ago One time I really wanted to color on the wall, so I created a small masterpiece in the hallway and ingeniously signed it with my brother's name. I would've gotten away with it had my brother not been 17 years old and I 7. ↑ 1.1k ↓ Share
    via u/gingerfer
  • 11
    brneyedgrrl 6 yr. ago My daughter did something similar when she was maybe 5. Wrote her brother's name in the dirt on my husband's car. When husband saw it he asked the four year old brother, Zack, why he did that. Zack looked at it, turned to my husband and said, "I didn't do it, I could never make a K that good." It was absolutely true. ↑ 12 ↓ Share
    via u/brneyedgrrl
  • 12
    MotherFuckingCupcake 6 yr. ago I used to sign things with insults directed towards myself then try and blame my brother or sister because, yknow, why would I write mean things about myself? The perfect crime. Except my parents saw through it every time. ↑4 ↓ Share
    via u/MotherFuckingCupcake
  • 13
    geckosean - 6 yr. ago At one point when I was very young my sister and I had a phase where we were too lazy to flush after peeing. My Mom noticed and started getting on anyone's case if she found pee in the toilet. At one point I realized my sister used toilet paper after peeing, whereas I didn't. So I started putting a little piece of toilet paper in after I was done doing the deed. I got away with that more than a few times and she would get reprimanded lol. 12 ↓ Share
    via u/geckosean
  • 14
    BenzieBox 6 yr. ago Reminds me of my younger sister. When she was about 4 or 5 she drew on the wall and put "mom" beneath it hoping we would all think our mom did it. Even though my mom was the one who discovered the drawing.. ↑ 3 ↓ Share
    via u/BenzieBox
  • 15
    KikiSparklexx 6 yr. ago edited 6 yr. ago This was a lie I told as a child. When I was in preschool I told everyone I had pet goats. We had no pets, not even a gold fish so I have no idea why I conjured up a goat in my little brain. We also lived in New Jersey by the shore so it's not even like it was common for anyone to have farm animals. Anyway, I kept this lie up really well for a kid. If I had a scratch I'd say my goats did it. I'd come in every morning and wash my hands because "I was playi
    via u/KikiSparklexx
  • 16
    dbontheb 6 yr. ago Yesterday. My nearly 4 yr old used the garden hose to soak the dog. When confronted he insisted the dog was wet because it had rained. I noticed he'd peed his pants too and mentioned it. He denied that and said his pants got wet while he was spraying the dog. 2.5k ↓ Share
    via u/dbontheb
  • 17
    notkeenontalking · 6 yr. ago coming around the corner into the kid's room "Alright, who got into mommy's makeup?" "Amber did it!" Amber's mouth looked like a mouth. My other child had colored/smeared the bottom third of their face with fushia lipstick. It was still on their hands, too. 943 Share
    via u/notkeenontalking
  • 18
    arudnoh 6 yr. ago One of the warning signs that my parents were raising a queer son should've been that, when visiting my female cousins around age 8 or 9, I would trick them into tying me to a chair and giving me full makeovers "against my will." I was a pretty good actor, because my cousins definitely thought they were bullying me, with one even apologizing years later. 701 Share ●●●
    via u/arudnoh
  • 19
    Galgareth 6 yr. ago When I was a teen and babysitting the siblings, my baby brother, then a toddler and who is now a Marine, disappeared while we were watching TV. I got up to get a drink from the kitchen and I found him sitting on a stool, pushed up to the sink so he could see the screen over the counter, with the Tupperware tub of sugar in front of him. The lid on the counter, his little arm in the tub up to the elbow, fist clamped around another handful, and sugar all over his face, shirt, sh
    via u/Galgareth
  • 20
    NonContextual_Text 6 yr. ago Have you been eating chocolate milk mix? "No"... What about the chocolate on the edges of your mouth? "The cat wanted some." ↑ 121 ↓ Share
    via u/NonContextual_Text
  • 21
    sooperfizzy 6 yr. ago After my kid looted the candy jar... 'Where you got that candy from son?'. 'Uhh, I found it in my mouth'. 688 Share
    via u/sooperfizzy
  • 22
    The PotatoCouncil. 6 yr. ago My nephew. I don't have a child. His mother: "What's that little scratch on your hand?" Nephew: "Well, actually it was very serious. I sliced it open with a knife at school, there was a huge hole in my hand so the teacher had to cut some skin from another child to stick my hand back together."
    via u/ThePotatoCouncil
  • 23
    CertainDamaged Lemon 6 yr. ago My 4 yo had been jumping in mud puddles near our house, which he was specifically NOT supposed to do. When he came up to me covered in splashes of fresh mud and I asked him what happened he looked me right in the eye and said "I have no idea." 994 Share
    via u/CertainDamagedLemon
  • 24
    nullagravida 6 yr. ago I was the kid, probably 5 or 6. My mom told me not to torment the cat I got for my birthday. Yet I tried to feed him a mud pie, repeatedly, until he put a long, deep, bloody scratch all down my leg. I knew how to deal with boo-boos, but this one was a monster. It hurt enough to put my leg in the bathtub, wash it with soap and water and pour bactine on it, without worrying that my mom would come in and see me, which of course she did. "Nullagravida!" she said. "Didn't I tel
    via u/nullagravida
  • 25
    Recabilly6 yr. ago My daughter asked my wife "where's daddy?" "he's at work" "no he's with his girlfriend" "oh yeah? It's she prettier than me?" "yes" - 2 year old daughter. If I wasn't such a loner I'd probably be in trouble but since my life is "go to work, go home, repeat" I was safe haha 2.3k Share
    via u/Recabilly
  • 26
    sammehemtee 6 yr. ago edited 6 yr. ago . When I was about 3 I came downstairs and proudly announced to my mom and her friends that I had NOT coloured on the walls. She of course thinks I have and ran upstairs to see what damage I had done. I really didn't colour on the walls I just thought I was funny. 512 Share
    via u/sammehemtee
  • 27
    dinosaregaylikeme . 6 yr. ago My nephew has two moms and about a year ago he was being taught that most people have a mom and dad. About a week later his mom found marker drawings on the wall. My nephew was covered in marker scribbles and told his mom that he didn't do it, his dad did. 503 Share
    via u/dinosaregaylikeme
  • 28
    nebelhund. 6 yr. ago Not uncommon with kids I guess. My son when still in diapers or being potty trained was always telling others that I was the one pooping in his diaper. He did it enough I considered doing it just to teach him a lesson. ↑ 302 ↓ Share
    via u/nebelhund
  • 29
    gingerfer 6 yr. ago · edited 6 yr. ago . I'm the child. In first grade I cut my hair and hid it in my desk. The teacher later found it and told my mother. When confronted, I said it must be Henry's hair, Henry being the only other redhead in my class. The problem was Henry was a boy with dark, almost auburn hair, and he had a buzz cut. I was a girl with bright red hair past my shoulders. They asked how Henry's short, darker hair had become several inches of bright red and what it was doing in my
    via u/gingerfer
  • 30
    Derpravity 6 yr. ago Hubs and I lived with my MIL for a while after a financial crisis. Our oldest daughter was 3 and always trying to pull one over on someone. Went into the bedroom to discuss something we didn't want to talk about in front of the kid and had been in there for about ten minutes when we heard her knocking on the door asking to come in. I explained that we were having a grown-up conversation and that I'd be with her in a few minutes. Not to be dissuaded, she waited 20-30 seconds
    via u/Derpravity
  • 31
    barajaj 6 yr. ago I have a cousin who was a creative liar since she was small and a bit of a one upper. She always has a follow up story. So when I got a pet turtle she told us about when she had a pet turtle. My dad knows she's never had a pet turtle so he's probing around to see what she says. Dad: Oh, you had one too? Her: Yes, but not anymore. Dad: Really? What happened to it? Her: It got ran over by the train. Dad: Wow! So it died right away? Her: No. it was on crutches for a while. Dad: Cr
    via u/barajaj
  • 32
    waltur_d 6 yr. ago My nephew was cutting his sisters hair. Mom walks in and while the scissors were still in his hand he immediately says, "Abby did it". 656 Share
    via u/waltur_d
  • 33
    saulfineman 6 yr. ago At the time, my daughters were 4 and 2. My wife is at work. My 2 year old comes downstairs crying and it looks like blue paint all over her hands. I go to her and the realize it's toothpaste. I go to our room and find the 4 year old at our bed with a tube of toothpaste completely emptied and she's rubbing it into our comforter. I start a bath, get both of them in the tub. The 4 year old looks at me, hands covered in toothpaste and says..."It wasn't me dad, only sister did i
    via u/saulfineman
  • 34
    tinyahjumma 6 yr. ago My kid swiped a cool looking pencil from another student's desk. The teacher saw it happened and confronted my kid. My kid adamantly denied it. When the teacher pointed to the pencil sitting on my kid's desk, my kid suddenly pretended to be blind, and said she didn't realize she'd taken the pencil because she couldn't see. She was 7. 281 Share
    via u/tinyahjumma
  • 35
    Volutus 6 yr. ago Not my child but my nephew told us he has a farm that he owns and he spends time there with the pigs, when he needs a break from the rest of the family. ↑ 106 Share
    via u/Volutus
  • 36
    -Viridian-6 yr. ago Not a parent... My sister went to her friend's house for a dinner party. She came home stumbling drunk and my mom just looked her over when she walked in the door. Sister looked at my mom and said "oh, I think they may have put a little wine in the spaghetti sauce for flavor." Smooth sister. Ha ha. 175 Share
    via u/-Viridian-
  • 37
    Miccy106 yr. ago Not a parent, this was me lying to my parents. Came home one day with a small toy hot wheels car I had found in the playground. When asked how I got it for some reason I claimed it "fell with the snow." ↑ 161 ↓ Share
    via u/Miccy10
  • 38
    wive sothereisthisgirl. 6 yr. ago When is was 4, we had just got a new house. My mom found out that I had drawn a huge "chicken" on the wall of my closet and I had signed it with my 3 year old sister's name. My mom brought us both to look at it and said, "You'll be in less trouble if you tell the truth." I was adamant that I didn't do it, "I told [sister] not to do it, but she did it anyways!" (I spoke clearly really early, my sister not so much.) My sister: "No no I not do it!" My mom then said
    via u/sothereisthisgirl
  • 39
    ME Logic Nom 6 yr. ago My two year old son farted in the car, and tried to blame it on me...it was just us in the car. 135 Share
    via u/Logic_Nom
  • 40
    H diarrheao_fthemouth 6 yr. ago My step daughter used to be the master of horrible lies. So bad that they were funny. Here's a few. My friends grandma is 300 years old I taught blind kids Braille at school My friend has a 60lb gerbil that drives around in a remote control car. There was more than one Titanic There were survivors on the Challenger shuttle. I saw it on YouTube. (Really, because I watched it live when it happened) I have a gluten allergy I really wish I could think of some more of
    via u/diarrheao_fthemouth
  • 41
    sctennessee 6 yr. ago My mom likes to tell this story of when I tried to get out of school at age 8 or so. I complained about having heartburn and that I wasn't sure if I'd have a heart attack or not. My mom's response: lol get out of the car 40 Share
    via u/sctennessee
  • 42
    khendron 6 yr. ago A coworker's son wrote his name on the wall. When confronted, he burst into tears and then said that it wan't him, it was a ghost. "How did a ghost write on the wall?", he was asked. Sob, "the ghost had a pencil!" 42 Share
    via u/khendron
  • 43
    ammofortherank. 6 yr. ago Daughter called me stupid one time. "Whatd you call me?" "Lupid." She was 3. 119 Share
    via u/ammofortherank
  • 44
    Fried Cockatoo · 6 yr. ago My dad went to pick my brother (6th grade so maybe 10-12 years old) from his friends house. He knocks on the door and "HI DAD I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH" Brother breathed peppermint schnapps My dad just asked "how much have you had to drink?" "I HAVENT DRANKEN ANYTHING DAD IM JUST VERY HAPPY SEE YOU" Of course my brother even while sober can't lie well and he had told my dad everything with great pride on how much he drank by the time he was home. Dad knew better than to g
    via u/FriedCockatoo

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things kids say absurd lies bad parenting reddit story family memes kids these days parenting memes subreddit reddit thread lie parents funny parenting Parenting FAILS
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